Parents shouldn’t say iron during parent-child communication
Parents shouldn’t say “iron” during parent-child communication
Baby case: Last weekend, five-year-old Yangyang and her mother were playing with building blocks in the living room. Yangyang was using the building blocks to build a high tower. When mom watched that it was time to cook, she reminded Yangyang, “Yangyang, mother is going toIt ‘s time for dinner. After a while, you can build the building blocks for yourself, then go to the book for a while, and wait for your mother to finish cooking and play with you.
Yangyang was having a good time. Hearing her mother’s words, she immediately yelled, “No, my mother wants to play with me.
“” Mom is going to cook, aren’t you going to eat? ”
“”That’s not OK!
“Yangyang said, and began to cry.
My mother was also angry. “I told you not to play with you after cooking, how can you not understand?
Cry, cry, you cry, you cry hard!
“Mum said, and went away humming.
Sitting on the floor and crying loudly.
The mother just couldn’t figure it out, how could this child not understand the words of an adult?
Why are you crying more and more?
Expert analysis: Does Yang Yang understand the words of her mother?
Yangyang must have understood what mother said “going to cook,” but then mother saw Yangyang insisting on playing with her and crying, and then mother said, “Cry, you work hardCry!
“Yangyang didn’t understand this sentence, because Yangyang sat on the ground crying after her mother finished speaking.
I remember I heard an example from a primary school principal: the bell rang and three first-year boys ran back to the classroom sweating, “Report!
“The three children stood at the class door and shouted to the teacher.
You are still coming back, just go play later, don’t rush back!
“After the three boys listened, they turned and ran out.
“The teacher couldn’t laugh or cry.
Later, the principal helped the teacher analyze that the joke was made not by the three boys, but because the teacher did not understand the characteristics of the first-grade children.
This teacher used to teach higher grades, and students who were “irresponsible” could hear them. When the lower grades were taught again, because the child’s language comprehension skills were not yet mature, and the children did not understand the teacher’s irony, they made such jokes.
Yangyang’s mother also made a similar mistake and did not understand the age characteristics of the child.
Children of this age cannot understand the rhetorical tone, so they must use positive encouragement to strengthen their correct behavior, and it is not suitable to educate children in a negative way.
Preschool and early school age children need the role of parents and positive guidance. The child’s behavior is mainly imitated learning. If you want the child to do it, you should show it to the child first. The child often does not understand some language instructions.If there is a direct response, the parent must be supplemented by body language, such as gestures and actions, so that the child understands what the parent is saying.
At the same time, the child’s ability to understand is poor, and the attention transfer requires a process, which should give the child some time to think.
In response to the child’s problems, when we ask the child, we must consider the child’s psychological characteristics. There are some small skills and small strategies that can allow the child to automatically transfer his behavior according to your requirements.
Here are some ways to help parents resolve similar issues.
Give your child some “psychological preparation” beforehand. Before you play a game with your child, you can tell the child the time schedule so that the child will be prepared.
For example, the mother told Yangyang in advance, “It’s four o’clock, we can take the building blocks for a while, and the mother will cook at 4:30. You have to read a book or play for a while. After the meal, the mother stillCan play with you for an hour.
“Although the child has no concept of time, he probably knows how time is arranged, and he will be more psychologically prepared, and when he needs to change his activities, he will be easier to accept.
Mimicking children’s “bad behaviors” After three years of age, children have begun to judge which behaviors are right and which behaviors are wrong, that is, with some simple judgment skills, when the child is happy, he refuses to end the game,Willing to let the mother leave, there will be some emotional expressions, parents can imitate these expressions, the children see the adults make such behaviors, they will soon realize that their behavior problems, and will adjust their emotions.
If the child is crying, the mother pretends to cry, “I don’t do it, I want to play!
“Said pretending to cry.
Children usually burst into tears.
The tension between parents and children will also ease.
End the game to “state beforehand”. Tell the child about the time schedule before the game, and also forget because the child’s memory retention time is relatively short. During the play, keep reminding the child, “statement in advance” to prevent the child from forgettingAnd “changing hexagrams.”For example, “Baby, my mother is going to cook for another 10 minutes. I can only accompany you to finish building this building. We just said, right?
“Remind the children of their promises and remind them to fulfill their promises.